Saturday, May 16, 2009

NO MORE HEROES

One of the points that stories like The Batman toy with is that you only get super villains if you start with superheroes. This is a thesis which has been impossible to test,

until now.

Of the many crimes against humanity committed so far by the social networking site MySpace the most egregious is The World Superhero Registry.

Which proudly proclaims itself "...a forum and resource for the REAL LIFE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY.." The site has dozens of biographies with photos of wannabe and neverbeen folk, listing their names, whether they are 'active', tips such as 'how to build a net gun', if their exploits have been covered in the media and even their superhero organisation such as Black Monday or The Vixens of Velour (okay I made the last one up, but they do have a Vixens of Valour group).

As long as you could look at this as a bunch of cosplay fanatics who just took it a bit too seriously then fine. But now a 21year old calling himself Shadowhare has gone and set up the Alliance of Heroes to help defend the good citizens of that hot bed of crime .....Cincinnati.

I've never been to Cincinnati, but I can't believe it deserves this



The first stirrings of opposition came from 'the Consortium of Evil' who offered a $10 bounty for the Shadowhares secret identity. Then came R.O.A.C.H

Ruthless Organisation Against Citizen/Chubby Heroes.

Whose leader the mysterious The Potentate, check it out here, has stated the removal of these superheroes is the first step "towards the total end game of world domination" I hope he finished with a maniacal laugh. It's all about standards people.

So which whould you rather team up with
or
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12 comments:

  1. Dr YobboMay 16, 2009 at 9:26 PM

    The forces of evil seem much less choady. They get my vote.

    As I understood it most of the crime committed in Cincinnati was done so by the members of the Bengals NFL team while out on the turps.
    http://larrybrownsports.com/football/ranking-the-cincinnati-bengals-arrests/612
    Presumably then the 2007 Bengals are the true enemy of your man Shareware aka the Black Power Ranger.

    Great post Barnesm.

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  2. yankeedogMay 16, 2009 at 9:38 PM

    The good Doctor is partly right-the Cincinnati Bengals are a hotbed of crime.

    There are parts of Cincy which I'd guess this fellow and any of his cohorts wouldn't dare go to. I drove through one of those 'hoods-once, and quickly-on my way to find the University of Cincinnati.

    There were riots down there, oh, nine or ten years ago now, bad enough to warrant a callup of the National Guard. Guess they shoulda got on the batphone to this guy.

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  3. uamadaMay 16, 2009 at 11:00 PM

    Shadowhare might make a good sidekick, but until his testicles drop, he's not going to be a hero. I mean FFS the footage didn't even have him (or any member of his team) doing any barrel rolls or fight training or something.
    I think I would have to join roach

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  4. JennickiMay 17, 2009 at 1:34 AM

    Great post Barnesm!

    Let's face it, Cincinnati is the poor-man's Detroit. If a city could ever be poorer than Detroit.

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  5. Girl ClumsyMay 18, 2009 at 12:32 AM

    Spandex. Lots of spandex.

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  6. intelliwenchMay 18, 2009 at 12:38 AM

    This only spurs me on to form my own league of superheroes, the Grammar Guild. We will wipe out misplaced apostrophes on public signage, prosecute participle danglers, and eliminate excessive ellipses! (Maybe we ought to do something about all that alliteration, too.)

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  7. Havock21May 18, 2009 at 12:40 PM

    Yeah well, I guess I gotta opt for Te GOOD GUYS, seeing as they need some kick arse training and Mojo, lest face, with HAVOCK on the TEAM, HOW CAN THEY LOSE

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  8. Michael barnesMay 19, 2009 at 9:41 AM

    Thanks Dr Yobbo much appreciated. The link to the evil Bengals NFL team was a welcome reminder of the task that Shadowhare and his Alliance of Heroes faces.

    But Uamanda if Shadowhare & The Alliance took you on as the wise mentor guiding their training think how far they could go?

    Thanks Jennikki, that's great praise coming from such a world famous 'amazing amateur blogger'.

    Girl Clumsy - Shudder

    Intelliwench let us know how you get on with the league of grammar, the world certainly needs it. Oh and don't you have housework that needs doing.

    Havock21 good to have you on team.

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  9. AnonymousMay 20, 2009 at 12:43 PM

    Hmm gotta go with ROACH I suppose afterall the seppos always need a villan with a true english accent!!

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  10. TherbsMay 22, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    Definitely ROACH. The bad guys always know how to enjoy themselves.

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  11. StephMay 22, 2009 at 7:36 PM

    I've driven through Cinncinnati as quickly as possible many times and I can assure you that it will take a helluva lot more than these dorks to save it.

    Still, I find their living outside the fringe of reality slightly appealing. I'd have a much better costume though. You don't have to be Bruce Wayne to come up with something better than the KMART Halloween bargain bin.

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  12. Pantsless PondererMay 28, 2009 at 5:17 AM

    Being from Michigan, I've never liked Ohio. We're taught to dislike the other. After seeing this post...I now want to go to Cincinnati (or "Cincinator" as one hillbilly from Cincinnati said to me once) solely to commit crimes and beat the hell out of this guy.

    You in, Barnesm!?

    ReplyDelete

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